


Ghost

by flowerfan



Series: Season 6 Reaction Fics [5]
Category: Glee
Genre: 6x03, Jagged Little Tapestry, Klaine, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-18
Updated: 2015-01-18
Packaged: 2018-03-08 00:45:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3189464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerfan/pseuds/flowerfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Kurt may have been imagining that Blaine was pining too, but reality wasn’t far off.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ghost

Seeing Kurt at the music store earlier tonight had been confusing. Blaine had of course recognized Kurt’s voice as soon as he heard him lamenting the lack of sheet music from _Smash,_ and for a moment it was as if nothing had broken between them. Blaine’s easy response flowed out of him as smoothly as a song, chiming in to the conversation as if he had never left. But it was clear as soon as Kurt laid eyes on him that it wasn’t the same for Kurt. Hearing Blaine’s voice startled him, upset him. It may have once been a balm, but that time had passed.

Blaine couldn’t forget that fleeting moment, though. Just before he saw the pain in Kurt’s eyes, when Blaine had heard that familiar voice, over the space of a breath, Blaine’s world was set right again. In that moment he hadn’t thought about all the despair and the grief of the past few months. Kurt’s comment hadn’t been angry, or defensive, or embarrassed – he was just Kurt, narrating his life out loud with his own brand of clever wit. 

How Blaine had ached to hear that voice, after the break-up, when he had only his own dejected thoughts to keep him company. It took a long time, but he eventually got over expecting to hear it in his ear each morning, whispering sweet nothings about the state of his hair, or half-hearted admonitions that they were going to be late if they didn’t hurry up and get dressed instead of drifting back into sleep, Blaine’s head nestled against Kurt’s chest. When Blaine finally realized that he could get through the day without hearing Kurt’s voice everywhere, he congratulated himself. Over time, he managed to slowly replace Kurt’s voice with those of his family, his friends, even the Warblers and a few younger teachers at Dalton. And he was working hard on finding his own voice, on listening to it just as attentively as to those of others.

But now, after he thought he had finally banished his ghost, Kurt was back. Literally popping up around every corner, insinuating himself into the life Blaine had painfully remade for himself after losing everything. How ridiculously unfair was it that Kurt was back in Lima running the New Directions, getting ready to compete against the Warblers and stealing his newest student? Wasn’t there any part of his life that Blaine deserved to have to himself?

Kurt had even managed to shake up his relationship with Dave. Dave probably didn’t even know it yet, although he’d be foolish not to notice, but it was impossible for Blaine not to wonder, now, if he was doing the right thing with Dave. If maybe, despite everything, he should be giving Kurt another chance. Yet just that thought made Blaine cringe; could he really still be such a pushover, wanting to just run back to Kurt? Nothing had changed between them, why would it be any different? But Blaine could feel Kurt’s pull on his heart, his stupid, lovesick heart, and he didn’t know what to do.

Blaine sighed, flopping back on his bed and running his hands over the plaid spread. He had begged off staying at Dave’s tonight, telling him he wanted to get up early and start packing. Blaine was set to move into Dave’s apartment in a few days. It had seemed like a good idea last month, when Dave’s roommate announced that he was moving to Columbus to find a place closer to his job, and Blaine was growing tired of his parents’ kind but somewhat claustrophobic concern. He had thought that he was doing the right thing, that he could do this and succeed. That he could prove to himself that he could live with someone without squeezing the joy out of their relationship. 

But then Kurt had to show up, all slim and beautiful, haunting not just Blaine’s dreams but his every waking moment. Didn’t he realize just his being here was pushing him closer to Dave? Blaine couldn’t hang out with Rachel any more, couldn’t stop by McKinley after practice to meet up with Sam, without worrying about running into Kurt. He knew all the New Directions were in town, but they were busy with their glee club, which somehow no longer included him. He was alone again.

Blaine reached for his bag and looked through his new sheet music. Can’t get me away from Broadway, my ass, he thought. Dave wasn’t even right – most of the songs he had been trying out for the Warblers were pop songs, with a few jazz standards thrown in; hardly any Broadway, off or otherwise. Kurt would know better than to say such a thing – Broadway was definitely not the Warblers’ style. Dave’s passive-aggressive display at the store tonight had really rubbed him the wrong way, and it wasn’t making things any easier with Kurt. Which, he realized, was probably Dave’s intention. Maybe Dave wasn’t as oblivious as he thought.

Blaine set his keyboard on his bed and propped the music for the Ella Henderson piece up in front of him. Trying to clear his mind, he began the song.

_I keep going to the river to pray_  
 _‘Cause I need something that can wash out the pain_  
 _And at most_  
 _I’m sleeping these demons away_  
 _But your ghost, the ghost of you_  
 _It keeps me awake_

Would he ever be free of Kurt? Did he want to be? Could he forgive himself if he let Kurt back in, and got hurt again?

_Each time that I think you go_  
 _I turn around and you’re creeping in_  
 _And I let you under my skin_  
 _‘Cause I love living in the sin_

He loved Kurt. He knew it. But it hadn’t been enough before. Why would it be any different now?

_Oh you never told me_  
 _True love was gonna hurt_  
 _True pain that I don’t deserve_  
 _Truth is that I never learned_

Blaine closed his eyes, and let himself sink into the rhythm, letting his sorrow bleed out through the song. Music saved him when Kurt let him go. Maybe it could still save him now that Kurt wanted him back.

_I keep going to the river to pray,_  
 _‘Cause I need something that can wash out the pain…_

**Author's Note:**

> The song Blaine sings is Ella Henderson's _Ghost_.


End file.
